I am not collared. By FuckD0ll
I was scanning Fetlife and saw a friend of mine FuckD0ll had written this great take on being collared, she tells how she feels it should be and deserves a huge high five for standing for what she thinks
After 6 months with my owner, 2 months of living with her and being a 24/7 lifestyle submissive I remain without a collar. I am in the position which most submissives, if not all, on this site dream and fantasize of being in. Do not think that I am complaining about my position, do not believe that I am ungrateful, I am very happy, and the fact that I remain uncollared is not my grievance. I have known from the start that I would have to earn it.
My grievance is that I see people at events and munches wearing collars when they are either not owned at all, or have had to do little/nothing to be given them. I have been there, as a dumb teenage submissive new to the scene. I thought it was a sign that I was a sub, or that it was a nice fashion accessory. I know now that it is not. It is a deep meaningful act which shows an unmistakable level of commitment. I hate to use a religious metaphor, but it is a wedding ring in many ways. To wear one without having been married would be ridiculous.
Some of you may be thinking that this is just the way that our relationship works, that my owner in particular does things in this way. This is not true. This is traditional protocol that was very much the norm in years that have past. Then subs would need to earn their collars like I am. It would be considered offensive to a dominant or to a collared submissive for you to wear a collar without having earned it.
I am offended.
I am offended because all of my hard work is going to be for nothing when it comes to public perception. What will it mean to you when you see me wearing my collar? “Oh my what a beautiful collar, where did you buy it, I want one!” as if it is something which can ever be bought. When I earn my collar you should not see me as someone wearing a nice bit of jewellery, but as someone who has worked hard and has sacrificed a lot to earn it, and you should be respectful of that. You should acknowledge my accomplishment. But how will you tell the difference between me and all the others who wear them, just because?
I also put it to you that if a Dominant would collar you within a week, would you treasure the collar? Would the Dominant treasure you? If they are willing to put a collar on someone with so little thought, what makes you special? When I am collared I will not be taking it off. Ever. People seem shocked when I tell them the wrist restraints I wear have been locked on for 6 months as a temporary sign of “ownership”. My collar will be staying on forever, this is a promise I am making to my Dominant to always be hers, in the same way that it is a promise from her that I will belong to her always. Such a promise cannot be made lightly.
When you see me and I am collared, know what I have done, know what I am, and if you are wearing a collar as well, ask yourself why.
Read the post here and share some crumbs